Communication Styles and Challenging Debates for Today

Photo by Mike Meyers on Unsplash

Friends, Samantha, and Carrie have picked up some interesting communication habits during the time of quarantine. Everyone is meeting on Zoom and thankfully the Happy Hour Zooms have ceased, but what remains are the Zoom yoga classes where we can only see our legs when standing. They should rename Yoga classes, “Butts and Below.”

Real-time conversation is a rarity these days between friends and scheduling a call of FaceTime seems to be the norm. The preferable mode of communication ensues in the following ways during the pandemic.

  1. IG chat
  2. Text
  3. Voice memo via chat (only Apple to Apple)

ALL SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Yes, there are full on conversations using these three methods consistently. The enjoyment in the depth of the conversations can be efficient and freeing for today’s lifestyle.

Here’s out HOW it plays out:

IG message Carrie: Video sent of A-hole Nazi mask wearing couple in Walmart and Debra Messing’s response. “Did you see this??”

IG message Samantha: “No, WTF? I need to read the post.” “I don’t understand the purpose.”

IG message Carrie: “Hate without consequence is the purpose.”

IG message Samantha: “Well, they were kicked out of the Walmart.”

There has been a surge of anti-Semitic events in the last

And with this surge, Facebook, with a Jewish CEO, has deep and harmfully ignored issues of the marginalized communities, thus putting hate over profit. While there has been some progress such as releasing their long-delayed civil rights audit that demonstrated their “vexing” policy decisions were clearly setbacks for civil rights. Thanks to the ADL, they have launched a “Stop Hate for Profit” campaign which has also brought other social media platforms to the table for discussion like Reddit and YouTube.

IG message Carrie: “So do we continue to post and make people aware? I can’t stop posting about all the anti-Semitism shit coming out. I feel very isolated as a Jewish person right now. Not seeing my non-Jewish friends acknowledging my posts. I had one woman engage though today from a FB post. Perhaps it’s compassion fatigue.”

IG message Samantha: “I’m at a loss about these Black celebs like Nick Cannon saying these anti-Semitism things. A woman commented on your post?”

IG message Carrie: “It gets difficult to support the BLM movement when they don’t lead and say something in response. Yes, read my post on FB about the UK rapper spouting off all over Twitter. When does it become hate speech? Why wasn’t he SHUT DOWN??”

IG message Samantha: “I need to read up on each of these Black dudes. I love Charles Barkley and his comments/video. I still need to read Kareem’s article.”

Charles Barkley created a passionate video calling out people like DeSean Jackson,

Carris sends a link to Samantha of an article about Jewish Allies condemn Black Lives Matter using apartheid platform. “Actual AntiDefamation League is standing with BLM and they have said nothing about this anti-Semitism.

IG message Carrie: “Wow. So they see this and then still stand with BLM because if they don’t the anti-Israel platform will win. This Palestinian movement is using the BLM like pawns for their own plight. Totally unrelated and Israel is not an apartheid country.”

IG message Samantha: “But what prompted these Black celebs to start railing against Jews?”

IG message Carrie: “No idea. Maybe their Palestinian friend.”

The friends now shift to text as the preferred mode of communication.

TEXT — Carrie: “Maybe I should post this to get people’s attention and start talking about all this anti-Semitic shit. What does the ADL suggest we do? Is it even worth it to post?”

Text Samantha: “Wait! Why this pic?”

Text Carrie: “It’s exhausting. To get people’s attention! It’s me and my sister.”

Text Samantha: “OMG I thought it was 2 boys! I am CRYING!”

Text Carrie: “I know. Those mushroom haircuts of the 70s. LOL”

Text Samantha: “We all had fucking boy hair. ADL seems to stand behind BLM.”

A discussion ensues about how the actual donations to BLM movement goes to ActBlue and the DNC.

Text Carrie: “I’m going to have to take a break from social media for a week. You will have to tell me all your stories IRL because I will not be reading them.”

Text Samantha: “One week?! Do it! Then ok I’ll try to get into trouble for some good stories…. With my vagina. 🤣”

Text Carrie:

Text Samantha: “I realize you are trying to be fierce but that Bitmoji is cute. All of this really is just vile. First, we have all these poor Black people being unnecessarily killed and now we’re next.”

Text Carrie: “Seriously and we can only hide for so long because being white doesn’t matter when they find out you’re Jewish. Once I was in the middle of Kansas by myself on a work trip and I was afraid that they’d find out I was Jewish and torture me. Like I had it written on my forehead. That’s where my mind went as I drove across the plains and only saw churches and Walmart.”

Carrie realizes this is ignorant and close-minded, but it was what she felt traveling alone as a woman the mind tends to go to dark places.

After another 30 min of text chatting, Carrie puts the phone down to sleep, drained. A few days of reading more and posting she realized it really does not make a difference, and she was only coming across as an angry poster. Having watched others do the same to no end, decidedly “snoozed them” and now she was one of them! Carrie took one more step and really found out if the donations to BLM were truly going to the DNC. After some digging, finding out that it was false from Fact Check.org but who really knows?

Taking on a big subject like anti-Semitism and BLM as an activist is not an undertaking that keeps a person in their heart only in their my head. Leading with our heads can keep us in ego and some people are truly activists fighting the fight every single day. Targeted and focused on one particular fight and not all on social media. The very best we can do is to be intentional on our part and hope the effects ripple into making the little world we live in a better place.

This is how friends do real talk. We oscillate between current events, how we can do our parts and weave in humor and some inappropriateness to lighten our mental load to make everything feel more bearable. Sometimes a simple silly photo and vagina joke puts it all into perspective.

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Writer of Meditation and Musings - a weekly newsletter navigating curiousness thru spiritual seeking as a human BEing

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Shelley Karpaty

Shelley Karpaty

Writer of Meditation and Musings - a weekly newsletter navigating curiousness thru spiritual seeking as a human BEing

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